Language
I come from a line of language butchers.
Because my mother is half-Chinese and half-Vietnamese, English is not her first language. Despite becoming a naturalized citizen in 1965, she still speaks English with a heavy accent and all manner of mental gymnastics is required to decipher her exact meanings; however, there are the rare occasions when she manages to convey the appropriate message in rather blunt fashion.
When I first began bringing the boyfriend home to meet the parents, my mother was delighted with him because he enjoyed food, more particularly her cooking. Unfortunately, my mother has never been very good with names and has always managed to substitute the names of her children for those of the various pets lurking about the house and land.
Well, apparently boyfriend was not immune from this practice. During a meal one evening, as soon as she noted his plate was less than half full, she jumped up to offer him yet another helping. She looked at him and instead of saying his name, she asked: "Crap, want more?"
Scrap or Scrapper was the name of one of the dogs. The letter "s" at the beginning of a word was yet something else she could not accurately pronounce.
On another occasion, I was in a bit of a grumpy mood which is often the case when my blood sugar drops (that's my story and I'm sticking to it!). My mother pulled the boyfriend to one side and whispered rather loudly in his ear: "When she is in a bad mood, just slip her a little Twinkie."
Shocked, he looked at her incredulously and asked: "What did you say?"
Nonchalantly, she walked over to the pantry, opened it up, grabbed a box of Twinkies, and deposited it in front of him before asserting: "Give her one of these. It will make her feel better."
He very obviously thought she was referring to something else.
Not long ago, the Baptist preacher's wife and daughter were at my parents' home having coffee with my mother. I just happened to be there that afternoon and was working on some kind of paper work and I did not really engage in conversation with them.
The bits and pieces I was able to hear of their chatter revealed the daughter had just broken off her engagement with a young man in the community. My mother was very surprised to hear the news and asked by way of confirmation: "What, no ding-a-ling?"
Shock rippled through both the preacher's wife and daughter. No one knew quite what to say.
It took even me a moment before I was able to translate what she meant to say:
"What, no wedding bells?"
Because my mother is half-Chinese and half-Vietnamese, English is not her first language. Despite becoming a naturalized citizen in 1965, she still speaks English with a heavy accent and all manner of mental gymnastics is required to decipher her exact meanings; however, there are the rare occasions when she manages to convey the appropriate message in rather blunt fashion.
When I first began bringing the boyfriend home to meet the parents, my mother was delighted with him because he enjoyed food, more particularly her cooking. Unfortunately, my mother has never been very good with names and has always managed to substitute the names of her children for those of the various pets lurking about the house and land.
Well, apparently boyfriend was not immune from this practice. During a meal one evening, as soon as she noted his plate was less than half full, she jumped up to offer him yet another helping. She looked at him and instead of saying his name, she asked: "Crap, want more?"
Scrap or Scrapper was the name of one of the dogs. The letter "s" at the beginning of a word was yet something else she could not accurately pronounce.
On another occasion, I was in a bit of a grumpy mood which is often the case when my blood sugar drops (that's my story and I'm sticking to it!). My mother pulled the boyfriend to one side and whispered rather loudly in his ear: "When she is in a bad mood, just slip her a little Twinkie."
Shocked, he looked at her incredulously and asked: "What did you say?"
Nonchalantly, she walked over to the pantry, opened it up, grabbed a box of Twinkies, and deposited it in front of him before asserting: "Give her one of these. It will make her feel better."
He very obviously thought she was referring to something else.
Not long ago, the Baptist preacher's wife and daughter were at my parents' home having coffee with my mother. I just happened to be there that afternoon and was working on some kind of paper work and I did not really engage in conversation with them.
The bits and pieces I was able to hear of their chatter revealed the daughter had just broken off her engagement with a young man in the community. My mother was very surprised to hear the news and asked by way of confirmation: "What, no ding-a-ling?"
Shock rippled through both the preacher's wife and daughter. No one knew quite what to say.
It took even me a moment before I was able to translate what she meant to say:
"What, no wedding bells?"
posted by Feisty at 5:11 PM
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